Tag Archives: Stress Response

09.23.25
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Is It Anger or Anxiety? Learning to Spot the Real Emotion Under the Surface

As a psychologist, one of the most common things I see in clients dealing with chronic anger is this: they’re not just angry, they’re anxious. But anxiety doesn’t always show up as racing thoughts or panic. Sometimes it looks like yelling. Or snapping. Or withdrawing. Anger is often just anxiety in disguise. The challenge? If you only treat the anger, you miss what’s really driving it. Find more information about our anger management courses here: (4 Hour Course) (8 Hour Course). 

anger or anxiety

Understanding the Emotional Switch

Anger and anxiety share similar roots in the brain. Both are part of the fight-or-flight response, triggered when we perceive a threat, whether real or imagined. When someone cuts us off in traffic, or our partner doesn’t respond the way we hoped, our brain might register danger. The amygdala fires. The body reacts. And in that moment, we may explode in anger when what we’re really feeling is fear, stress, or insecurity.

Individuals with high trait anxiety are more prone to anger outbursts, especially when they feel out of control or misunderstood. Why? Because anger feels powerful. It’s active. It pushes others away. In contrast, anxiety makes us feel exposed and vulnerable, two emotions many people have never learned how to tolerate.

Anger Is a Shield Emotion

In anger management sessions, we often explore what’s underneath the anger. When clients begin to slow down and examine their emotional patterns, a common realization emerges: “I wasn’t actually mad, I was scared, overwhelmed, or hurt.”

This shift in understanding is powerful. It allows us to move from reaction to reflection, which is key to long-term emotional regulation.

Spotting the Signs: Is It Anger or Anxiety?

Here are a few ways to tell what you’re really feeling:

  • Is your heart racing? That could be a stress response rooted in anxiety.
  • Do you feel out of control or cornered? That’s often anxiety behind the scenes.
  • Do you feel shame or regret after expressing anger? You may have been masking deeper emotions.
  • Are your thoughts racing with “what ifs”? That’s classic anxiety fueling reactive behavior.

What You Can Do

Awareness is the first step. From there, you can begin practicing skills like:

  • Mindful breathing to ground your nervous system
  • Cognitive restructuring to challenge fear-based thoughts
  • Assertive communication to express needs before frustration builds
  • Therapeutic journaling to track emotional patterns

Not all anger is what it seems. Sometimes the loudest outbursts come from the quietest fears. When we learn to recognize anxiety beneath the surface, we stop fighting the wrong battle—and start healing the right wound.

06.21.23
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The Silent Saboteur: How Uncontrolled Anger Undermines Our Health

Anger Management Online with Dr. Justin D'Arienzo Jacksonville Florida Psychologist and Relationship Expert
Anger Management Online with Dr. Justin D’Arienzo Jacksonville Florida Psychologist and Relationship Expert

Anger is a powerful emotion that when unmanaged can have detrimental effects on our overall health and well-being. From the physical toll it takes on our bodies to the strain it puts on relationships, uncontrolled anger can significantly impact various aspects of our lives. However, by learning effective anger management techniques, we can regain control and experience positive changes in our health and overall quality of life.

The Impact of Unmanaged Anger on Health:

  1. Cardiovascular Health: Intense anger episodes can lead to increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and heightened stress responses. Prolonged exposure to such physiological changes can contribute to the development of cardiovascular issues, including heart disease and hypertension.
  2. Weakened Immune System: Chronic anger and unresolved conflicts can weaken our immune system, making us more susceptible to illnesses and infections. It can also hinder our body’s natural healing processes, resulting in slower recovery times.
  3. Mental Health Concerns: Uncontrolled anger is often linked to mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression. Persistent anger can exacerbate these conditions and create a cycle of negative emotions and maladaptive coping mechanisms.
  4. Relationship Strain: Frequent outbursts of anger can strain personal relationships, causing heightened stress and social isolation. Unresolved conflicts and poor communication resulting from anger can lead to strained relationships and decreased social support.
  5. Sleep Disruptions: Anger and unresolved emotional turmoil can disrupt sleep patterns, leading to difficulties falling asleep, staying asleep, and experiencing restful sleep. Sleep disruptions can further contribute to mood disturbances and compromise overall health.

Effective Anger Management Strategies:

  1. Self-awareness: Recognize the signs of anger, including physical sensations, thoughts, and behavioral patterns, to intervene before it escalates.
  2. Relaxation Techniques: Practice deep breathing exercises, meditation, or engaging in calming activities to reduce anger and promote emotional well-being.
  3. Communication Skills: Learn effective communication techniques, such as active listening and assertive expression, to express anger constructively and resolve conflicts.
  4. Stress Management: Incorporate stress-reducing activities into your daily routine, such as exercise, hobbies, and relaxation practices, to minimize anger triggers and promote emotional resilience.
  5. Seek Support: Consider seeking guidance from a therapist or joining anger management support groups to learn valuable coping strategies and gain insights from others facing similar challenges.

Managing anger is essential for our overall health and well-being. By implementing effective anger management strategies, we can reduce the negative impact of anger on our physical and mental health, improve our relationships, and experience a greater sense of inner peace and emotional balance. Remember, anger is a normal emotion, but it is how we choose to manage and express it that makes all the difference.