As a psychologist, one of the most common things I see in clients dealing with chronic anger is this: they’re not just angry, they’re anxious. But anxiety doesn’t always show up as racing thoughts or panic. Sometimes it looks like yelling. Or snapping. Or withdrawing. Anger is often just anxiety in disguise. The challenge? If you only treat the anger, you miss what’s really driving it. Find more information about our anger management courses here: (4 Hour Course) (8 Hour Course). 

Understanding the Emotional Switch

Anger and anxiety share similar roots in the brain. Both are part of the fight-or-flight response, triggered when we perceive a threat, whether real or imagined. When someone cuts us off in traffic, or our partner doesn’t respond the way we hoped, our brain might register danger. The amygdala fires. The body reacts. And in that moment, we may explode in anger when what we’re really feeling is fear, stress, or insecurity.

Individuals with high trait anxiety are more prone to anger outbursts, especially when they feel out of control or misunderstood. Why? Because anger feels powerful. It’s active. It pushes others away. In contrast, anxiety makes us feel exposed and vulnerable, two emotions many people have never learned how to tolerate.

Anger Is a Shield Emotion

In anger management sessions, we often explore what’s underneath the anger. When clients begin to slow down and examine their emotional patterns, a common realization emerges: “I wasn’t actually mad, I was scared, overwhelmed, or hurt.”

This shift in understanding is powerful. It allows us to move from reaction to reflection, which is key to long-term emotional regulation.

Spotting the Signs: Is It Anger or Anxiety?

Here are a few ways to tell what you’re really feeling:

• Is your heart racing? That could be a stress response rooted in anxiety.
• Do you feel out of control or cornered? That’s often anxiety behind the scenes.
• Do you feel shame or regret after expressing anger? You may have been masking deeper emotions.
• Are your thoughts racing with “what ifs”? That’s classic anxiety fueling reactive behavior.

What You Can Do

Awareness is the first step. From there, you can begin practicing skills like:

• Mindful breathing to ground your nervous system
• Cognitive restructuring to challenge fear-based thoughts
• Assertive communication to express needs before frustration builds
• Therapeutic journaling to track emotional patterns

Not all anger is what it seems. Sometimes the loudest outbursts come from the quietest fears. When we learn to recognize anxiety beneath the surface, we stop fighting the wrong battle—and start healing the right wound.