An election can leave you angry, relieved, worried, or exhausted. You can feel several of those things in the same afternoon. After more than 20 years as a clinical psychologist, I’ve learned that people often know what set them off. The harder part is noticing the moment when anger starts making decisions for them. That moment might come when you read a headline, hear a coworker’s comment, or see a text from someone you love.
Notice what you’re telling yourself
Say your brother posts something you find offensive. You might immediately think, “He knows exactly what he’s doing.” Maybe he does. You still have a choice about whether to reply while your jaw is tight and your fingers are already on the keyboard. Ask yourself what you actually know about his intent and what you want your response to accomplish. Those two questions can change what you do next.
Take a break before you respond
Put the phone down, take a short walk, or slow your breathing. If you’re talking face-to-face, try saying, “I care about this, and I want to talk about it when I can do it without raising my voice.” If the conversation matters to you, suggest a time to come back to it. And if checking election coverage keeps setting you off, pick one or two times to catch up instead of leaving alerts on all day.
Give your energy somewhere to go
Anger can tell you something matters. Ask yourself what you can do about it this week. You might contact a local official, volunteer, or have a private conversation with someone whose opinion you value. At home, a good goal may be as simple as getting through dinner without turning it into a debate.
If you keep snapping at people or regretting what you said, practice these skills before the next difficult conversation. I developed two self-paced courses to help you recognize triggers, slow down, and handle conflict more effectively. Explore the 4-hour online anger management course and the 8-hour online anger management course.
